Hi everyone
Realised it's been over a month still I posted. All well with me, I'm still slowly getting stronger and I'm finding my body is slowly getting in step with the rest of me. Pacing myself is still a daily experiment. Sometimes I over do it and get overtired, other times I don't do enough so don't sleep great. But all just teething pains and I'm sure I'll get the hang of it. My hair is well and truly back now, same dark colour but very soft and not massively strong. Starting to do a very small amount if exercise. I've got the assessment with the rehabilitation gym people next week then I'll start my exercise recovery program which I'm really looking forward to.
So my thoughts of the last month have been ...
I've felt so restored emotionally too. Every day God sustains me and I am finding out more about His purposes, my gifts and His power to turn whatever of your life you give to Him for His good and plan. It's been amazing as I've felt less burnt by this season in my life than other times and it's got me questioning why? Has it been that God wasn't in those dark times earlier in my life when I had a lot to deal with, no. He was there, but I think this time I surrendered my life to Him in a different way. Not pushing for my way, my desire to have my plans back and relief from the physical pain. I think I don't fear pain as much. I think i've learnt more about not fighting Him. I did this a lot when I was younger and I blamed Him for so much hurt and circumstances that I felt I had no control over. Now I feel like I may still have days when I don't understand, when things hurt, life seems unfair and painful, but I'm trusting more now than ever that God is good and I don't have to understand everything that happens to me or those around me to know He loves me. I suppose that's faith. I believe we all use faith every day just in different things or people to guide, shape us, form us. For me I put my faith in Jesus. He is getting me through this weird stage of waiting. In some ways its like being in a airport lounge permanently, it's just I don't know my destination just yet. One day of remission at a time.
