Just a quick one to say, scan results were good. Nothing significant found in site of tumour and they've recommended a total of 6 cycles to mop up any renegade cells in my body. Hurrah! Due to the scar tissue in the area they're being extra careful though and we'll have our proper chat with the consultant week after next to chat through exactly where we stand and what the area now looks like. But relieved that treatment is working and feeling more confident I could be in remission by end of May.
Other good news is that this cycle has been so much easier in comparison to the last one. I still have had nausea but we gave one of the drugs v.v.slowly as it has caused a lot of stinging last time, and my symptoms were drastically reduced. I even managed to sit up and chat with my sister and Ray for a bit last night and have a bath. Amazing as I am normally extremely sick for first 24 hrs. So relieved.
So thanks for those of you who are praying,really feeling Grace of God and in His hands.
Ps still no news on critical care money, pls keep praying we'll at least know outcome soon as tricky planning Ray's time off/compassionate leave. Thanks.
Saturday, 12 March 2011
Tuesday, 8 March 2011
here comes the sun...
Been loving the sunshine down here since I posted last. There have been moments when it has felt like Spring out on Mum and Dad's patio, so been feeling excited as I'm still hoping that I'll be through the chemo by May.
We've been doing pretty well still. Managed to see some people this cycle which has been nice as otherwise it is just me and the family. Also saw some family over the last few weeks which Millie has loved too. Had v.low white blood cell count the last two cycles which is good as it means chemo is working, but also not great as basically have very week immune system for about 5 days. Drs were debating giving me injection of white cells to help boost mine but I managed to cope on my own and just was very careful with visitors and going out.
Symptoms have been ok, just the usual finger issues. The Dr has checked out the nerve damaged and warned me it may be permanent which is annoying as it is like extreme pins and needles at the tips of my fingers. It has just been an inconvenience so far but now they've started throbbing I'm hoping I can still get all the chemo as they may have to reduce one of the drugs even further to try and control the damage. Prayers that the throbbing stops would be great. Nausea was pretty normal and after a week was able to eat what I wanted, which is good as dinner is a bit of a mission the first week.
I should know tomorrow the results of my scan to see how the tumour is doing - we're hoping it is gone or reduced. Have found it unsettling waiting. I think it is partly as they may up my sessions to 8 in total if they are not getting it. I've been focusing on getting to May and not entirely sure I have it in me to do another 5 instead of 3. I had a CT scan last week and I've felt worried at times and not sure how to wait well. Think it was also partly because Ray had holiday but he spent 5 days away from us in our new house very tirelessly sanding the flooring in our new lounge. He did SO well, it was a tough job and he single handedly managed to get it done! But it happened to coincide with me feeling a bit rubbish so didn't help. Have felt a lot better now he's back home and I am feeling more prepared for tomorrow. Probably partly because I didn't have my usual splurge before I slept each night he was away so I was backlogged :)
We're still waiting to hear about critical care money which will help us plan the final cycles and whether we can afford for Ray to take some compassionate leave. It would be good to try and have some "normal" family time around Easter and as my last cycle is currently due to be 22nd April, it could mean he could have most of May at home once we move in to our new place. Prayers for that would be great as we would just like to know either way now.
We got second opinion on car that broke down and it's going to cost a small fortune to fix so Dad in law has come to the rescue by lending us their clio for a few months. Will help loads whilst we work out what to do next. Also had a lovely lump sum of money from Ray's work which was a massive surprise and will help with sorting out house stuff. Well done Ray! He has been so amazing throughout this and really is an inspiration to me every day. It amazes me that he can still have a smile on his face and a laugh every day despite the madness of his life at the moment. We're just thankful we are near such awesome family support.
Not much else to report really. Hoping we're half way and are able to start thinking about the future from May onwards :)
We've been doing pretty well still. Managed to see some people this cycle which has been nice as otherwise it is just me and the family. Also saw some family over the last few weeks which Millie has loved too. Had v.low white blood cell count the last two cycles which is good as it means chemo is working, but also not great as basically have very week immune system for about 5 days. Drs were debating giving me injection of white cells to help boost mine but I managed to cope on my own and just was very careful with visitors and going out.
Symptoms have been ok, just the usual finger issues. The Dr has checked out the nerve damaged and warned me it may be permanent which is annoying as it is like extreme pins and needles at the tips of my fingers. It has just been an inconvenience so far but now they've started throbbing I'm hoping I can still get all the chemo as they may have to reduce one of the drugs even further to try and control the damage. Prayers that the throbbing stops would be great. Nausea was pretty normal and after a week was able to eat what I wanted, which is good as dinner is a bit of a mission the first week.
I should know tomorrow the results of my scan to see how the tumour is doing - we're hoping it is gone or reduced. Have found it unsettling waiting. I think it is partly as they may up my sessions to 8 in total if they are not getting it. I've been focusing on getting to May and not entirely sure I have it in me to do another 5 instead of 3. I had a CT scan last week and I've felt worried at times and not sure how to wait well. Think it was also partly because Ray had holiday but he spent 5 days away from us in our new house very tirelessly sanding the flooring in our new lounge. He did SO well, it was a tough job and he single handedly managed to get it done! But it happened to coincide with me feeling a bit rubbish so didn't help. Have felt a lot better now he's back home and I am feeling more prepared for tomorrow. Probably partly because I didn't have my usual splurge before I slept each night he was away so I was backlogged :)
We're still waiting to hear about critical care money which will help us plan the final cycles and whether we can afford for Ray to take some compassionate leave. It would be good to try and have some "normal" family time around Easter and as my last cycle is currently due to be 22nd April, it could mean he could have most of May at home once we move in to our new place. Prayers for that would be great as we would just like to know either way now.
We got second opinion on car that broke down and it's going to cost a small fortune to fix so Dad in law has come to the rescue by lending us their clio for a few months. Will help loads whilst we work out what to do next. Also had a lovely lump sum of money from Ray's work which was a massive surprise and will help with sorting out house stuff. Well done Ray! He has been so amazing throughout this and really is an inspiration to me every day. It amazes me that he can still have a smile on his face and a laugh every day despite the madness of his life at the moment. We're just thankful we are near such awesome family support.
Not much else to report really. Hoping we're half way and are able to start thinking about the future from May onwards :)
Sunday, 20 February 2011
ps
Oh yes, and I've decided I'm going to try and make a patch work blanket for Millie. I have some side effects of the treatment which means the nerves in the end of my fingers are not really working, so may have to put it off. But if any one can recommend a good book or can point me in the right direction as to where to start, that would be great!
Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day
Well i'm writing this post from bed having seen a lot of it over the last three days. Chemo #3 is done and dusted and I'm starting to get to the other side of the intense symptoms. I had a reaction to one of the drugs they give you in the hospital which was unexpected and caused some nasty symptoms. The first 24 hrs were the worst yet but rode them out and have felt surprisingly better with the nausea just v.tired; thus the need for sleep.
Since last time I posted we've had a lot on. Got keys to our new place, hurrah, but said good bye to our car which decided to conk out on a busy roundabout in Bournemouth at rush hour. I was driving down to pick Ray up from the train station and despite feeling a bit ropey was not anticipating having to make get the RAC out and the police to help push the car out of a busy road. Thankfully I didn't get ill as it was really cold and had to wait a good hour in the cold before my dad rescued me with his fancy car with heated seats! So having to figure out how to buy a new car and pay for the house, but hey as Ray says, it wouldn't be faith if you could see how it was all going to work out.
I've been slowly getting more tired and Millie seems to be getting more active so together we've had to bring in a new babysitter who helps me out two mornings a week every two weeks on. When Mum in Law is down, she takes over, and it is great as Millie adores her so I can rest and my Mum can get some time to do other stuff too. She has been an absolute star through all this and I thank God daily for her faith, strength and generosity.
We celebrated out 5th Wedding Anniversary the day we got the keys to the house and remembered that we actually stayed in Bournemouth on our wedding night so it felt like a full circle to be out to dinner that night not far from the hotel. Millie will probably think we've always lived around her as she grows up but we've got lots of stories to tell her about her brief stint in London and her posh birth certificate showing she was in fact born in the Borough of Chelsea and Westminster.
We've been sorting stuff out with the house and saw a builder this week to get a quote for some reasonably extensive building work. He seemed really positive about the whole thing and can turn it around quite quickly. With the unexpected car expense may have to put that on hold for a bit but exciting that our plans weren't totally mad and he said the kitchen/diner would look great.
I've noticed most people down here look so tanned and healthy despite being winter. Seems like the sun ignores the season and shines a lot more down here and we've had some lovely days exploring the New Forest and Beach. Millie is already a beach babe and adores the beach so much that she has started making her own sandpit down the bottom of Mum and Dad's garden with some of Dad's left over patio sand. She is quite a girl with a plan and now she is starting to really talk it is hilarious keeping up with what she's decided to do with the day.
On a final note, been really struck by the verse above from the Bible that has been encouraging me this week. I had a good chat with the specialist MacMillan Nurse this week who always helps me with the symptoms. We don't know if we are getting it yet but I've found out that after more investigations my staging is the earliest which means that they are assuming the drugs are working. We were talking about how it feels to start loosing your hair, energy, appetite, etc and I spoke about that even though that is all happening I still feel peaceful. It is true though. I'm learning to live in the moment and as the chemo is getting more in to my body it is very hard and sad at times which me waste away before my eyes. It is especially hard to watch the impact on those closest to me who have to care for me and take over with Millie. I often think it takes just as much courage to face this alongside someone as to go through it as they can feel at times helpless and scared. But inside I can feel my character being refined, I'm growing up lots, learning a lot about courage and what it really means to enjoy every bit of life. I know it may sound strange to some of you but I wouldn't change the path I'm on (at the moment anyway :)I'm learning so much about God's compassion for me and getting an insight in to His Love for me and strength that I can relate to Paul, the writer of the verse, that even though I may look like I'm wasting away, inwardly I'm getting all I need to be Gen, love God back and get enough energy to get through the day.
Since last time I posted we've had a lot on. Got keys to our new place, hurrah, but said good bye to our car which decided to conk out on a busy roundabout in Bournemouth at rush hour. I was driving down to pick Ray up from the train station and despite feeling a bit ropey was not anticipating having to make get the RAC out and the police to help push the car out of a busy road. Thankfully I didn't get ill as it was really cold and had to wait a good hour in the cold before my dad rescued me with his fancy car with heated seats! So having to figure out how to buy a new car and pay for the house, but hey as Ray says, it wouldn't be faith if you could see how it was all going to work out.
I've been slowly getting more tired and Millie seems to be getting more active so together we've had to bring in a new babysitter who helps me out two mornings a week every two weeks on. When Mum in Law is down, she takes over, and it is great as Millie adores her so I can rest and my Mum can get some time to do other stuff too. She has been an absolute star through all this and I thank God daily for her faith, strength and generosity.
We celebrated out 5th Wedding Anniversary the day we got the keys to the house and remembered that we actually stayed in Bournemouth on our wedding night so it felt like a full circle to be out to dinner that night not far from the hotel. Millie will probably think we've always lived around her as she grows up but we've got lots of stories to tell her about her brief stint in London and her posh birth certificate showing she was in fact born in the Borough of Chelsea and Westminster.
We've been sorting stuff out with the house and saw a builder this week to get a quote for some reasonably extensive building work. He seemed really positive about the whole thing and can turn it around quite quickly. With the unexpected car expense may have to put that on hold for a bit but exciting that our plans weren't totally mad and he said the kitchen/diner would look great.
I've noticed most people down here look so tanned and healthy despite being winter. Seems like the sun ignores the season and shines a lot more down here and we've had some lovely days exploring the New Forest and Beach. Millie is already a beach babe and adores the beach so much that she has started making her own sandpit down the bottom of Mum and Dad's garden with some of Dad's left over patio sand. She is quite a girl with a plan and now she is starting to really talk it is hilarious keeping up with what she's decided to do with the day.
On a final note, been really struck by the verse above from the Bible that has been encouraging me this week. I had a good chat with the specialist MacMillan Nurse this week who always helps me with the symptoms. We don't know if we are getting it yet but I've found out that after more investigations my staging is the earliest which means that they are assuming the drugs are working. We were talking about how it feels to start loosing your hair, energy, appetite, etc and I spoke about that even though that is all happening I still feel peaceful. It is true though. I'm learning to live in the moment and as the chemo is getting more in to my body it is very hard and sad at times which me waste away before my eyes. It is especially hard to watch the impact on those closest to me who have to care for me and take over with Millie. I often think it takes just as much courage to face this alongside someone as to go through it as they can feel at times helpless and scared. But inside I can feel my character being refined, I'm growing up lots, learning a lot about courage and what it really means to enjoy every bit of life. I know it may sound strange to some of you but I wouldn't change the path I'm on (at the moment anyway :)I'm learning so much about God's compassion for me and getting an insight in to His Love for me and strength that I can relate to Paul, the writer of the verse, that even though I may look like I'm wasting away, inwardly I'm getting all I need to be Gen, love God back and get enough energy to get through the day.
Sunday, 6 February 2011
Needing to make some changes...
Had a really funny week since I last posted. Chemo really knocked me out after the last session, and although I have been told that each cycle is very different from the next, I must admit I was ill prepared. The nausea and sickness lingered for about 7 days and I had fatigue and moments of feeling a bit vacant. Now having got through the other side I feel remarkably normal again and have found that I can reflect on how to try and cope better if the next session is the same. I think it is partly because I am trying to be a full time mummy to a 19mth old and so I was not fully resisting, which allowed the nausea subside, or being fully mummy which meant Millie was finding it hard me in and out during the day. Mum and I have worked through a more effective schedule and calling in a lot of help so I can really give in to the immediate extreme symptoms and just rest to allow my body to not reject the drugs and start the sickness up.
Emotionally am feeling more tired but managed to get along to church community group and see some friends so felt uplifted and supported again. It is just the readjustment to my new normal that I suspect is just going to be a daily process and as long as I come back to God and times of prayer and being quiet I get back on track quickly. It is hard at times not to worry and think what if this doesn't work but when I work through what I believe is true and reaffirm that I won't live a day longer or shorter than God ordains, it does give me comfort and I remember the importance of living every day like it is your last. It is funny as I can go from being really deep to really trivial in a sentence that I'm surprised my family can keep up! I do believe that it is not my time, and that I have words over my life that I have things yet to do, but I'm sort of coming to a serene peace that even if it is my time, God is in control of those closest to me, my friends and the timing. I've been thinking how important it is to deal with this in the moment otherwise I can't imagine how I'd deal with the remission part and trying to live with not knowing if the cancer is going to come back. Oh there you go getting all deep again...! How amazing are people who live with life threatening illnesses all the time? I mean how do they cope? I've found it really inspiring hearing stories about how they live with such uncertainty and it really helps to stay focused, and know that compared to so many this is a light burden.
I've got my post chemo tomorrow and I'm planning to ask more about the staging of the cancer and if they are still planning to cut down my treatment to 5 not 6 sessions in total. We figured out today that if I do 5 I'll be done by Easter and start May hopefully in remission. That is a good thought but we are still a little unsure how to plan ahead to be honest. There is a holiday away with some peeps from church in August and I'm guessing I'll feel a lot better by then so we're thinking about going on that. Oh and before that Millie's 2nd bday is something to plan for too.
We're due to get the keys to our new place on Friday which is so exciting especially as I'm planning to get the builders in straight away to do start out kitchen/diner/play room re-design if possible. We need to make the most of us not living there and having a Dad whose worked in the building trade it is really useful as he's got a lot of knowledge about what we need and how to get the best. It sounds mad though doesn't it?! But we don't know how long this process could last as if they don't get kill the cancer than we are on to radiotherapy straight after, so if we wait for a "better" time we may never actually get up and running in our new place and the three of us really need a home. Having looked at the finances though we are needing the Lord to provide but if it is right He will.
Well, I'm completely bald now. I'd had no massive hair loss for about 10 days then suddenly yesterday in the shower the rest of the very short hair fell out. Literally a whole covering of hair in one short shower! So funny as I said to Ray "Get Millie ready, and I'll have a shower, then we'll go to Waitrose", 5 mins later, I was out completely bald, no warning. Poor Ray got a bit of a fright when I came out! Bless him, he found it really hard, much harder than cutting it short. I had sooooo much hair on my head though that I knew it would take ages to completely go. Now I have the unattractive patchy look so will need to shave it properly. I've not found it hard at all as I think the major surrendering to it happened when it started falling out the last cycle. Millie says my hair is asleep now and when I ask where it is, she points at my wig in my room. I have no idea how much therapy that poor child will need to get over this one, but hey.
She has been much calmer in herself since we prayed with group on Thursday and partly I think because I feel so much better. She is very intuitive and picks up a lot on how I am feeling. This is partly why we are calling in more support as it allows me to really give in to rest and so when I see her I can actually play and give her quality time. I'm treasuring every moment with her at the moment like never before and realising how amazing it is that God is letting me borrow her for this precious time when she is so little and needs me absolutely.
Imsomnia is not fun though. Sigh. As you can see I'm up late for me and it is hard as you don't get great sleep when you do fall asleep. Partly the chemo affects and as I have two very noisy sleepers in my ear - Millie on the monitor in one, and Ray in the other. Ear plugs are helping though and naps in the afternoon help me pace myself.
5th Anniversary on Friday - woo. We're going to get takeaway and go sit in out new house. Can't wait! First night out in months so feels like it is needed and I know poor Ray could do with some time out as he's coping with so much at the moment what with more responsibilities at work, the commute, picking up all the slack from me and just the stress of having a sick wife fighting a life threatening illness. But before you feel too sorry for him he always has energy to disagree with his wife about an array of topics - this week "is that a plane in the sky or is it Venus?" After 20 minutes of said sparkly green star not moving and me blue in the face listing why Ray should take my astronomy credentials seriously (including my 100% in the space section of my Physics GCSE :) he caves in and admits it could well be a planet!
Emotionally am feeling more tired but managed to get along to church community group and see some friends so felt uplifted and supported again. It is just the readjustment to my new normal that I suspect is just going to be a daily process and as long as I come back to God and times of prayer and being quiet I get back on track quickly. It is hard at times not to worry and think what if this doesn't work but when I work through what I believe is true and reaffirm that I won't live a day longer or shorter than God ordains, it does give me comfort and I remember the importance of living every day like it is your last. It is funny as I can go from being really deep to really trivial in a sentence that I'm surprised my family can keep up! I do believe that it is not my time, and that I have words over my life that I have things yet to do, but I'm sort of coming to a serene peace that even if it is my time, God is in control of those closest to me, my friends and the timing. I've been thinking how important it is to deal with this in the moment otherwise I can't imagine how I'd deal with the remission part and trying to live with not knowing if the cancer is going to come back. Oh there you go getting all deep again...! How amazing are people who live with life threatening illnesses all the time? I mean how do they cope? I've found it really inspiring hearing stories about how they live with such uncertainty and it really helps to stay focused, and know that compared to so many this is a light burden.
I've got my post chemo tomorrow and I'm planning to ask more about the staging of the cancer and if they are still planning to cut down my treatment to 5 not 6 sessions in total. We figured out today that if I do 5 I'll be done by Easter and start May hopefully in remission. That is a good thought but we are still a little unsure how to plan ahead to be honest. There is a holiday away with some peeps from church in August and I'm guessing I'll feel a lot better by then so we're thinking about going on that. Oh and before that Millie's 2nd bday is something to plan for too.
We're due to get the keys to our new place on Friday which is so exciting especially as I'm planning to get the builders in straight away to do start out kitchen/diner/play room re-design if possible. We need to make the most of us not living there and having a Dad whose worked in the building trade it is really useful as he's got a lot of knowledge about what we need and how to get the best. It sounds mad though doesn't it?! But we don't know how long this process could last as if they don't get kill the cancer than we are on to radiotherapy straight after, so if we wait for a "better" time we may never actually get up and running in our new place and the three of us really need a home. Having looked at the finances though we are needing the Lord to provide but if it is right He will.
Well, I'm completely bald now. I'd had no massive hair loss for about 10 days then suddenly yesterday in the shower the rest of the very short hair fell out. Literally a whole covering of hair in one short shower! So funny as I said to Ray "Get Millie ready, and I'll have a shower, then we'll go to Waitrose", 5 mins later, I was out completely bald, no warning. Poor Ray got a bit of a fright when I came out! Bless him, he found it really hard, much harder than cutting it short. I had sooooo much hair on my head though that I knew it would take ages to completely go. Now I have the unattractive patchy look so will need to shave it properly. I've not found it hard at all as I think the major surrendering to it happened when it started falling out the last cycle. Millie says my hair is asleep now and when I ask where it is, she points at my wig in my room. I have no idea how much therapy that poor child will need to get over this one, but hey.
She has been much calmer in herself since we prayed with group on Thursday and partly I think because I feel so much better. She is very intuitive and picks up a lot on how I am feeling. This is partly why we are calling in more support as it allows me to really give in to rest and so when I see her I can actually play and give her quality time. I'm treasuring every moment with her at the moment like never before and realising how amazing it is that God is letting me borrow her for this precious time when she is so little and needs me absolutely.
Imsomnia is not fun though. Sigh. As you can see I'm up late for me and it is hard as you don't get great sleep when you do fall asleep. Partly the chemo affects and as I have two very noisy sleepers in my ear - Millie on the monitor in one, and Ray in the other. Ear plugs are helping though and naps in the afternoon help me pace myself.
5th Anniversary on Friday - woo. We're going to get takeaway and go sit in out new house. Can't wait! First night out in months so feels like it is needed and I know poor Ray could do with some time out as he's coping with so much at the moment what with more responsibilities at work, the commute, picking up all the slack from me and just the stress of having a sick wife fighting a life threatening illness. But before you feel too sorry for him he always has energy to disagree with his wife about an array of topics - this week "is that a plane in the sky or is it Venus?" After 20 minutes of said sparkly green star not moving and me blue in the face listing why Ray should take my astronomy credentials seriously (including my 100% in the space section of my Physics GCSE :) he caves in and admits it could well be a planet!
Friday, 28 January 2011
Forgot to say...
Meant to put in prayer points for those of you who are praying for us :
The nausea is pretty rough at times so praying that it subsides
For Millie - it is weird time for her not having Mummy on form every day and having to watch me be very poorly and withdrawn at times. Please pray she feels secure and loved, and God gives her peace
That I have grace for not being the Mummy and Wife I want to be, but the one that I can be
We may qualify for critical care money from Ray's work which we have applied for. Please pray that we have peace as to the decision as it could really help us out with Ray having to take time off with no pay, but we're trusting God for provision.
That we can make it to our church service or lifegroup at least once a month
Thank you faithful friends
The nausea is pretty rough at times so praying that it subsides
For Millie - it is weird time for her not having Mummy on form every day and having to watch me be very poorly and withdrawn at times. Please pray she feels secure and loved, and God gives her peace
That I have grace for not being the Mummy and Wife I want to be, but the one that I can be
We may qualify for critical care money from Ray's work which we have applied for. Please pray that we have peace as to the decision as it could really help us out with Ray having to take time off with no pay, but we're trusting God for provision.
That we can make it to our church service or lifegroup at least once a month
Thank you faithful friends
2nd cycle
Had 2nd cycle yesterday which we went through quite quickly which was great. It knocked me out more this time and I looked I'll with it as well, so just rested and was quiet. No sickness this time thankfully. We changed the order of the drugs and that seems to have helped. I still get some strange symptoms in the first 24 hours which make sleep difficult so I had a bad night, but they seem to have gone so am just on to the strong anti nausea stuff for a few days.
Have had an ok week. Finally shaved hair off on Tuesday as it was so itchy and it was difficult doing normal things through concern that at any moment large chunks could fall out. Must admit it was surprisingly scary actually doing the final shave but I made myself do it and have felt a lot better afterwards as you can just get on with everyday life. It helped taking control.
It is a comfort getting back in to the cycle of hospital and you feel quite safe as you are in constant contact with the experts and you feel productive. This last week has felt strange, partly I suppose because of the hair going, but also because you are doing a lot of waiting and starting to get your strength up before you get zapped again. Felt vulnerable at times and more hormones have been affected, which they said will happen and just to ride it out. I can't say I've had the highs and the lows though which they warned me about, so that has been helpful as just been constant and steady really.
Been so appreciative of all the texts, emails and gifts everyone has given me. They really make a difference to my day and I am so grateful to have such wonderful friends and family. It has put a smile on my face everyday knowing that people are thinking of us and helping us through.
It was funny yesterday though as we took Date Night a movie with us to watch but I was laughing so loudly that we had to turn it off as it was distracting the other patients, most of them who were over 60, but the nurses thought it was hilarious. We realised we may have to vet the movies each time for appropriateness!
Have had an ok week. Finally shaved hair off on Tuesday as it was so itchy and it was difficult doing normal things through concern that at any moment large chunks could fall out. Must admit it was surprisingly scary actually doing the final shave but I made myself do it and have felt a lot better afterwards as you can just get on with everyday life. It helped taking control.
It is a comfort getting back in to the cycle of hospital and you feel quite safe as you are in constant contact with the experts and you feel productive. This last week has felt strange, partly I suppose because of the hair going, but also because you are doing a lot of waiting and starting to get your strength up before you get zapped again. Felt vulnerable at times and more hormones have been affected, which they said will happen and just to ride it out. I can't say I've had the highs and the lows though which they warned me about, so that has been helpful as just been constant and steady really.
Been so appreciative of all the texts, emails and gifts everyone has given me. They really make a difference to my day and I am so grateful to have such wonderful friends and family. It has put a smile on my face everyday knowing that people are thinking of us and helping us through.
It was funny yesterday though as we took Date Night a movie with us to watch but I was laughing so loudly that we had to turn it off as it was distracting the other patients, most of them who were over 60, but the nurses thought it was hilarious. We realised we may have to vet the movies each time for appropriateness!
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